Mom Crush Monday: Meet V

Hello! I’m V! If you are a little curious, V is super short for Véronique. I am one of three Northern BC Moms and this weeks Mom Crush Monday. The cliff notes version is that I am from Northern B.C. and have called Prince George, B.C. home for just over ten years. I have two Golden Retrievers, Bella and Abigail, a two and a half year old daughter, Caidence, and share this whole lovely gong show of a life with my not-actual-hubby-but-practically-hubby Ryan.
.
Photo Credit: Ava Photography (Click the photo for her website!)
.
Would you like to participate in Mom Crush Monday too? Learn More here. Check out other Northern Mamas too. We also love sharing any story or experience you might have. Send us a draft at hello [at] northernbcmoms [dot] ca and we will let you know how we can share your story!
.
Tell us about your family? I am part of a family of three + two puppies. I also feel very lucky to have so much extended family close by. If it weren’t for the tight knit village we have surrounding us, we probably wouldn’t make it through the week. If I were being honest, we probably wouldn’t make it through the day.
.
What keeps you busy in life? All the things. I would like to say that I am a mom first and foremost, but the truth is, I balance it (or don’t) with so many other responsibilities, endeavours, and adult-life things. I am not sure that I would change it, even if I could. While most days keep me running off my feet from sunrise to way-past-sunset, I’ve found a kind of comfort in the chaos:
.
I am earning my Bachelor of Science in Nursing. While the journey has it’s really sucky moments, I don’t ever consider it a wrong turn. I have learned so much about myself, the mom I want to be, what I want my future to look like and so on, that I have to at least be appreciative of what going back to school has given me. No doubt, school is hard. I am not going to lie. And balancing it with everything being a working parent includes, makes it harder. But in the same breath, it makes it easier too. I definitely have something to fight for.
.
> Northern BC Moms gives me connection to other moms going through life’s rough and tumble. I wish I had more time because Northern BC Moms is a happy place for me. But I also know it’s there for me whenever I want to indulge in writing and sharing motherhood in the north.
.
> Spare a Pair is for sure one of my proudest accomplishments (after my lovely little, that is). This organization was created because myself and my beautiful friend, peer, and partner-in-crime believe that we have the power to make positive influences and powerful changes within our northern community. The goals of our initiative include providing basic needs to those in our community who are currently going without, creating volunteer and educational opportunities, challenging misinformation and stereotypes, and ultimately breaking the stigma surrounding marginalized individuals.
.
Describe yourself in one word? I have been sitting here for over fifteen minutes trying to decide – so I am going to go with indecisive. Making decisions is hard. Especially when fear is behind every excuse I have not to do something. It’s mostly fear of what might happen if I make the wrong decision. I am working on being of the mind where I am fearful of what might happen if I don’t do the something that opens a new door, shows an unlikely opportunity, or jumpstarts a whole new amazing something or other.
.
What do you do in you ‘free time’? Free time? Ha. Good one.
.
What is your favourite colour? Mint makes me happy. If I had a picture of my growing dish collection from my fav little not-really-local kitchen shop, Kitchen Works – I would totally show you! I bet it would make you happy too.
.
What is your favourite thing to make for dinner? I am addicted to chicken wings. It is seriously a problem.
.
How did you become a mom? Do we really need to go over the logistics of how one becomes a mom? Ha. Kidding.
.
I actually learned that for some people it can be more complicated than it seems. So much so that it could probably be it’s very own post, but here’s the “short” version:
.
Ryan and I decided we wanted to be parents about seven and a half years ago. Given you know I have a two and a half year old, you can probably do the math and see that things didn’t really go as we planned. Do they ever though?
.
For the first three-ish years we definitely played the “trying-but-not-really-trying” card. It wasn’t until those years had passed where it became obvious that our not-trying wasn’t really working, and we needed to get a little more serious about things. For nearly a year, it was some serious biz. Ovulation kits, apps on the phone, the tracking, monitoring, over-analyzing, over-scheduling, and wondering. Always wondering.
.
By this point, it was time to see a doctor. After a diagnosis of Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and a frank conversation about the fact that I was not really ovulating – it was time for some meds to get that supposed-to-be-totally-natural thing going. If you’re wondering a sure way to make a woman feel totally and completely non-woman, there it is.
.
We started with Metformin – which basically just made me puke. Then we added some ovulation drugs – which made me lose my hair, experience mood swings that I can only look back on and blush, gave me menopause-like hot flashes, and as an added bonus, gifted me fifty-ish extra pounds. And after some crazy up’s and down’s, we came to acceptance. Acceptance that no matter how badly you want something, it doesn’t really matter. There are some things that this life just won’t give. We decided it was time for a break. It was time to put away all of it – the nonsense apps, the kits, the drugs – all of whatever we were holding onto to keep control of this crappy situation – and just enjoy each other again. Ew gross right? No. It’s funny what trying to have a baby can do to a relationship.
.
So, it was about here in the journey, five years in, the local doc said there was nothing more she could do for us from home and it was time we made our way to a fertility clinic down south to see if we were candidates for IVF. The big bad words no want-to-be parent want’s to hear. Thankfully, even though we made our appointment, we never actually made it. About 6 weeks later, and three day’s of throwing up my lunch, the stick turned pink. Boom. I became a mom.
.
Photo Credit: Petit Four Studios (Click the photo for her website!)
.
At the end of the day, I am thankful for my journey and even more thankful didn’t take me to the depths of the fertility issues many women experience.
.
What is your biggest challenge as a mom? Balance while encouraging structure and routine. This is mostly because I don’t know which way is up 83 percent of the time. I guess I just don’t want my chaos to become Caidence’s chaos too. She deserves to know which way is up and there is for sure mom-guilt because I can’t always give that to her.
.
What did you learn from your parents? When you think your little absolutely needs something… they probably don’t.
.
What do you find yourself always saying? Be careful. I am trying really hard to stop.
.
Your biggest piece of advice for new moms? As prepared as you think you are – you aren’t. That’s okay. Go with the flow. You got this.
.

What keeps you going, day after day? You know that not-actual-hubby-but-practically-hubby I mentioned up there? It’s him. He does way more than I could ever give him credit for. It’s not all sunshine and roses, but at the end of the day I know he will be there for me no matter what – and having that someone has sure made it easier to get through – even when I haven’t thought I could.

.
.
What is the most important thing in your home when raising littles? A little while back a random-someone said that “around every corner in this life, there are rules. As we get older, there are just more and more rules.” (Preach!) ..It wasn’t even intended as parenting advice – but it really resonated and it has become an important reminder to let her be little more and have a little less “don’t do that, do this” if “that” isn’t actually doing any harm. It’s harder than it sounds.
.
What is your favourite thing about having young kids? Watching all the firsts. The growing thing happens fast and I know I am going to really miss this.
.
.
What’s something you said you’d never do as a mom, but did anyways? Three things.
.
> 1. Co-Sleep. I’m having a flashback to that time what I judged my sister for sleeping with her babies. Sorry little sis’. You had the right idea. I grew to love the snuggles. That said, she has been in her own bed solid every night for over six months, and I love the lack of foot in my face too.
.
> 2. Use the TV as a babysitter. Most of us have done it and so I can admit with this hectic-life, I am guilty of letting Ryder and the pups rescue my sanity and take care of little C for a moment or two.
.
> 3. Bottle-feed. In a perfect world, if you choose to breast feed, you can. Unfortunately the world isn’t perfect and sometimes you have to make the best of what you got with the cards you’ve been dealt.
.
How do you take care of you? What do you do for self-care? I often forget that I am important too. We really shouldn’t. I went bra shopping a little while back and I can’t stop looking at how good my boobs look in a new, properly fitted, bra. No really, they look damn good. If you haven’t gone bra shopping in a awhile, I seriously recommend it. It’s a good time. I also really like the bath tub. I am thankful my phone is water proof because in my opinion there is nothing wrong with combining bath + Netflix.
.
Do you have mom guilt? What’s trips you up the most? Oh yes. Advancing my education and career is hard on my family. When I first returned to school, I was doing it because I realized that as much as I liked my current roles, I wanted to advance within the clinical aspects. Becoming an RN is only step one of the many I would like to take but admittedly, the guilt catches me sometimes and I question whether I am choosing this over the time I could be spending with my daughter. I have to remind myself that being the person I want to be is just as important in raising my daughter as the quality time we get together. I just have to work that much harder to find balance.
.
 
.
.
What’s something you need right now? How could a stranger help you? Tell me I am doing okay. That mom-guilt thing that we just talked about – it’s a real thing. Sometimes it’s nice to be reminded that we are doing the best we can be for our family.
.
What is your favourite activity to do with your family? I like when we dance in the living room while singing. Right now, Caidence’s favourite song is Frosty the Snowman. She almost knows the words better than I do and her two-year-old version is enough to make your heart melt.
.
Where do you spend most of your days with the kids? In the summer, it’s hard to not find a local gem to take in whether it be a park, lake, or play space. In the winter, we spend more time hiding indoors than we would like to admit but we keep busy with arts and crafts and play-cooking.
.
.
What do you think makes your community great? The community itself. I have watched this community step up time and time again when people ask for help (and even when they don’t). It awes me.
.
Does your community need something more for moms and kids? What is it? You know how we spend a lot of our winter hiding? Indoor play spaces is something most of our northern communities are lacking but could go a long way to reducing the stir crazy we feel in the -30 February’s.
.
What’s something we might not know about you? On top of all the things you have already learned from the questions above? Okay. ..I have lows. Not everyday is good. Not everything is going the way I want it too. I get sucked up by the social media perfection I see and wonder if I can ever have it together enough to be as happy. Sound familiar? Sometimes I wake up and want to just not. Sometimes that feeling, it hangs around for days and I wonder if there will ever be good again. Do you know this feeling? As fast as those feelings come, they go. And I am reminded that things happen as they should and I just need to keep going – one step at a time.
.
What is your proudest accomplishment? My little is growing to be an incredible tiny human and I am thankful for her everyday. Is that too cliché?
.
Where will we find you in 5, 10, 15 years? I don’t know what I am doing tomorrow honestly. And I am actually okay with that. It seems that almost everyday I experience something that shifts my goals, expectations, intentions – even if just a little bit. It is with that in mind that I have accepted the fluidity of the future and find myself remaining more open to new opportunities and experiences.
.
Who is someone you think deserves a shout out and why? I have to pick two. I could actually pick more. But, Amy Lepine and Janelle Hager – you ladies are mamas who are kicking ass at life. You are rocking the BSN program and working hard to balance mamahood and your own personal growth. You should be proud of everything you do for your family.
.
Who is your Mom Crush? Bailey Bouwman. You are my Mom Crush. I know you have already shared your bio but you show me that real life mamahood isn’t all rainbows and lollipops and that is absolutely okay. Plus you inspire me while you are advancing your education, working with a company you love, and running two other successful social networks – Simply Mom Bailey and the Cloth Diaper Podcast.
.
Do you have a Mom Crush too? Shout them out in the comments below!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *