Making adult friends is one of the hardest things to do. Making mom friends is slightly easier. Mom friends are easier to find compared to finding non-work related adult friends. I’m not even sure where non-parent people go to make friends because before I had kids, I only had work friends and school friends. Now, I have mom friends, and I’m going to share my secret to making mom friends and finding my village.
How to Make Mom Friends
The first step to finding mom friends is to connect with other moms in your community. You can find moms on the Internet, at the library, playground, support groups and almost anywhere they offer programming directed and infants and children.
Don’t think there are any programs for moms in your community? Look again. Almost all communities with a school, run a strong start program for 0-5 (click here for what to expect at strong start)! Or talk to your doctor or public health nurse, family with kids, ask on Facebook, and if all else fails, build the space.
It’s not as easy as just showing up to a playdate, making mom friends is a little harder than that. You might be able to attest to this as you’ve stumbled upon this blog post in desperation of figuring out the secret. My secret to making mom friends is to keep showing up.
Keep Showing Up.
You might make friends at the first get together. But honestly, you probably won’t. It’s not as easy as when we we’re kids and all it took was asking, “Do you want to be my friend?” Chances are you’ll be shy, awkward, and unsure of yourself. As a mother, we are already in a place of self-doubt, and constant internal judgment, that makes the first get together with strangers, the most terrifying thing ever!
“Do you want to be my friend?”
Okay, maybe it’ll be no big deal. But most likely the first time is the awkward dance of talking about the weather, poop stories, all nighters or apologizing for your child’s behaviour. I always leave the first encounter feeling like an ass, and even more alone and defeated.
If you can make it again and again, then you’ll build the connections you need to make mom friends. Keep showing up to play dates, play grounds, programming, mom’s night out, walks, your local resource centre and fitness classes. Every time you show up gives someone else the chance to remember you, to ask you something, and to build the very foundation you need.
As an introverted extrovert making mom friends isn’t my forte. I might organize my local Hike it Baby chapter, am an active participant in my local online mom’s groups such as MY PG VILLAGE, and a regular face at the breastfeeding groups in town, but the first meeting is ALWAYS intimidating, scary, and rarely an instant connection. However, the more we see each other’s faces, children, and do things together, the more we have an opportunity to build our relationship. Don’t be discouraged if you leave the first play date without an instant connection. Give it time and keep showing up. Add each other on Facebook or Instagram or heaven forbid exchange phone numbers lol
BONUS TIP: Be your true self. Meeting mom friends is hard, but don’t fake it. Be your true self. It’s okay if that means we don’t jive at the end of the day. Just keep trying. You’ll find your people and your village in no time!